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Sunday, April 29, 2012

April musings...


Its been a wonderful april for Delhi: whenever the temperature started climbing, or anyway on most days when it did, the sky clouded over, cool winds came in, and it drizzled. In other words, magic weather for those of us who endure the terrible heat of Delhi.


So, what with the brilliant sunshine, and the breezy weather, here are a few breezy musings, written in the style of the much lamented satirist Behram Contractor, India's answer to Art Buchwald, who used in write in Bombay's (yes, Bombay) Midday:


Like, this summer, there is going to be no power cut in Delhi, because i'm sure, what with the elections just a few months away, Sheila Dixit would have ordered the Electricity companies to buy power at whatever the cost, and supply it to Delhiites. Nothing loses you votes faster than the electorate sweating it out in the Delhi heat, unable to sleep because of the mosquitoes.


Like, I mused, does Amitabh Bachan really tweet and blog to the extent he does? If it is being ghost-written for him, well, all I can say is that the tweets are so typical of Amitabh that this ghost writer must be the best one in the world...


Like, what with all these convictions for corruption, you would expect government offices and officers to become more law-abiding, but somehow, it never seems to happen...


Like, cellphone companies are getting away with murder, overcharging their customers in a variety of ways. If you dont fall in line, hey presto, your outgoing calls are barred. So, just get a dual sim phone, like I got this April: that way, you will never be at their mercy again.

Like, whatever happened to armchairs? cant find one anywhere in south delhi. One shopkeeper told me nobody buys em anymore because there is no space in anyone's home for them. Interesting. But I wonder: does anyone nowadays truly, truly retire, and put their feet up, and lean back on their armchairs?

Like, I used to wonder why pretty girls in Wodehouse's novels were called April. Now I know: if April can be this beautiful, why not name your girls April? It must have been dazzlingly beautiful in the Riviera in April, where Wodehouse lived....